SwingerDB

The only database engine that refuses to settle down.

🧓 Boomers love rigid schema.

🧑‍💻 Millennials prefer flexibility.

🧠 Gen Z? They just want something that vibes.

SwingerDB is the world’s first polyamorous database engine—proudly relational and non-relational, depending on its mood. Today it’s SQL with strong ACID guarantees. Tomorrow it’s JSON over a WebSocket.

Who are you to define its relationships?

🗃️ Features

• Mix-and-match schema

  • … because commitment is hard

• Built-in therapy module (BETA)

  • resolves inner JOIN conflicts

• “Writes that ghost you, but eventually text back”

  • (eventual consistency)

• GraphQL Support

  • … because Gen Z refuses to use anything else

• Stores data and feelings

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Whether you’re a Boomer clinging to your primary keys, a Millennial swiping right on document stores, or Gen Z just trying to make your API aesthetic, SwingerDB welcomes all.

Monogamous databases are so 20th century!